A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.
For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver, I’ve been driving a funeral hearse for the last 15 years.”
A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch.
“Help! Is there anybody up there?” he shouted.
A majestic voice boomed through the gorge, “I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me.”
“Yes, yes, I trust you!” cried the man.
“Let go of the branch,” boomed the voice.
There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, “Is there anybody ELSE up there?”
The pedestrian light on the street corner near our office, beeps when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with a co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”
A teacher says to his straight-F pupil, “With grades like this you’ll never achieve anything in your life. You’ll end up a loser”
Fast forward 20 years later. Retired teacher is deadly ill, only a very risky and expensive surgery can save him.
It happens that the best surgeon in the country knows the old man and agrees to save him for free.
After surgery, when teacher wakes up, the grown-up straight-F student comes into the recovery room.
He unplugs the life support and plugs in his vacuum cleaner.