During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Nursing Home?“
“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.“
“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the Bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.“
“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you Want a bed near the window?“
An Italian businessman goes to Indonesia for a business trip. He doesn’t like Indonesian food, so he asked the concierge in his hotel, “Is there any restaurant where I can find Italian food here?“
The concierge says, “You’re lucky sir, a new pizza restaurant just opened and they deliver.”
The businessman asks for the restaurant’s number, goes back to his room, and orders the pizza.
30 minutes later, the delivery person shows up with the pizza.
He takes the pizza and eats it. Suddenly he’s sneezing uncontrollably and shouting to the delivery person, “What did you put on this pizza?!“
The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put exactly what you ordered on the phone, sir. It’s pepper only.”
A wife comes home late one night and not wanting to waken her husband, quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?“