Jokes Collection of the Day

An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.

“I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price?” said the man.  “Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there.  You insisted there would be no discount on this model.”

“Well, what can I tell you?  She had the ready cash, and just look at her, how could I resist?” replied the salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.

“There you go,” she said.  “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.     See you later Grandpa.”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

I was visiting the house of a distant cousin who I had not seen for many years, when I saw that he was playing chess with his cat.

I was so amazed that I had to say that it had to be the most intelligent cat ever.

My cousin replied, “Absolutely not! She has lost all her matches!”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man replied, “That would be my wife.”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

In the great desert lived a bunch of nomads.

Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank, due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man’s strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

After leading the band for many years, Benny began to feel uncomfortable wearing the beard, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked.

One said, “Do you now remember the ancient legend? The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware.”

Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.

Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.

The council then knew the legend must be true.

Their conclusion?    “A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.”

Published by Lookn into it.

Providing Quotes, Jokes, Life items and More.

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