Long Jokes of the Day


The world’s leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I’m terribly sorry, but I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don’t recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?” 

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, “No, this just can’t be right! I’ve been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recognize any of these sounds.”

The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. “This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!”

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

What seems to be the problem, sir?”

“This is an outrage! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!”

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir. It appears we’ve been playing you the bee side.”


Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …


The historians had gathered for a party in Cairo, after they had discovered a new mummy.

The discovered mummy, on display at the party hall, suddenly woke up.

Seeing the historians alarmed, the mummy said that he just wanted to listen to some music.

The mummy said, “Please don’t play jazz because my trom-bones are in a very bad shape.  Could someone please put on some wrap music?”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

A homeless man was often seen walking down the local street.  His shoes were so worn that the soles would flop around when he walked.

One day he was walking down the street when a man in a brand new Maserati and an expensive Italian suit pulled over by him.

The man asked for the homeless man to come to him.  He pulled out a thick wad of $100 bills, and held it out to the homeless man.  The homeless man was shocked.

The wealthy man pulled off the rubber band from the wad, and handed the band to the homeless man and said,

“Y’know, you could use this to keep your shoes from flopping around everywhere like that.”

Published by Lookn into it.

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