Jokes of the Day


One day this old couple were at a carnival.

The man said to his wife, “Honey, can we go on the helicopter ride?”
The wife says, ”No, it says to be quiet so the pilot can focus, but you always shout. Even though, it says it’s $10, and I didn’t bring my money.”
The man keeps asking his wife until the pilot came up to them, “Hey, I heard you guys wanted to have a ride.”
The wife explained that her husband can’t be quiet and they didn’t have any money on them.

The pilot says, “Look, I’ll give you a ride for free, only if you guys are silent. No sounds. Or else I’m dropping you off.”
The husband says he’ll be quiet, and so, they go on.

They take off, and the couple are quiet. The pilot tries to make them scream, so he does a couple flips, but they stay silent.
The pilot thinks, I need to make the scream. So he does his signature move, the tornado. He goes around and around sideways, getting closer and closer together. He does this risky move, but they stay quiet.

After he drops them off, he says,
“Man, I tried to make you guys scream, but you stayed quiet. Good job!”

The husband says, “Yeah, it was hard. I almost screamed when my wife fell out, but I kept my mouth shut!”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …


“Make me one with everything,” says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a twenty dollar bill.

The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.

The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, “Where is my change?”

The vendor replies, “Change comes from within.”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

My friend told me this joke about a party host who made his guests line up for juice…

I can’t seem to remember the entire joke, but all I know is that there was a long punch line.

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

John visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John’s grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandpa replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal.”

For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on it.

“Are you sure these plates are clean?” he asked.

Without looking up, Grandpa said, “I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!” 

Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa’s dog started to growl and wouldn’t let him pass.

John said, “Grandpa, your dog won’t let me get by!”

Grandpa yelled to the dog, “Cold Water, go lie down!”

Published by Lookn into it.

Providing Quotes, Jokes, Life items and More.

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