Jokes of the Day

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re assigned to hell.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they have got air conditioning and flush toilets, escalators, elevators and so on .. and so the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan on the telephone.

“So, how’s it going down there in hell?” God says.

“Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. There’s no telling what our engineer is going to come up with next!” Satan says.

“What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake, he should have never gotten down there, send him back immediately!” God says.

“No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him!” Satan says.

“Send him back up here or I’ll sue!” God says.

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,

“Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.

“Yes,” he said. “My father taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three?”

“Four,” answered the boy.

“What comes after six?”


“Very good,” said the teacher. “Your Dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?”


Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

Two friends are walking their dogs, a Dalmatian and a Chihuahua, when they smell something delicious coming from a nearby restaurant.

The guy with the Dalmatian says, “Let’s get something to eat.”

But the guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there, we have dogs with us.” 

So the first guy says, “Just follow my lead.” He puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks into the restaurant. 

“Sorry,” says the owner, “no pets allowed.” 

“But this is my seeing-eye dog,” the guy with the Dalmatian says. 

“A Dalmatian?” 

“Yes, they’re using them now.” 

The owner says, “Very well, then, come on in.” 

The guy with the Chihuahua repeats the process and gets the same response from the owner, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.” 

“But this is my seeing-eye dog,” says the second guy. 

“A Chihuahua?” asks the incredulous owner. 

“A Chihuahua?!,” says the man in the dark glasses. “They gave me a Chihuahua?!”

Hope you enjoyed that joke, here is another …

Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp.  Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.

“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.

“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”

Published by Lookn into it.

Providing Quotes, Jokes, Life items and More.

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